we're moving across the country - again

several months ago, mitchell and i packed up our camry with only what could fit and drove back to arizona. and to my ptsd-ridden, suicidal brain, it felt like defeat. we had taken a risk for a job of mine, and i got sick and couldn't keep working. we lost a lot of money and a lot of things, that while replaceable, we still miss.

since our dating days, we had both known we didn't want to live in arizona forever. moving back here this summer augmented the feeling, but this time around we wanted a bit more stability and to go to a place that we didn't mind settling down for a while. most big cities were on our list, but we preferred the ones where we had connections. (in seattle, that was a huge challenge because we knew literally no one before moving there. we really struggled to get connected to a community, partly due to my mental health struggles and partly due to the pandemic.)

i started a medicine that changed my life and began to feel a lot better. i started feeling more ready to work, but the growth still took baby steps. i said no to a few job offers that weren't the greatest fit or didn't quite pay enough. i accepted a job in arizona that mysteriously fell through. mitchell has basically been applying to jobs nonstop since september of 2019 (send him some love and support!). he has been writing some contract pieces as well as taking on a contract position covering the 2020 election this fall/winter for sojourners magazine.

in early december, i applied to a nanny position in washington d.c. and quickly found myself in an interview process that stood out from the others. i gave them some references and they offered me a reference for their family as well. i got to talk with a former nanny who raved about working with them. when they offered me the job, i accepted. mitchell and i got to tell our families over the christmas holiday and it was very joyful.

now we're in the midst of transition again. we've started packing boxes, bought plane tickets, sold our car, and booked a packing cube shipment. there's a new normal that has to be honored and given the proper space in seasons like these. for example, i anxiety-cried multiple times over the fact that i didn't get books packed on the day i planned to. i can't wish those type of things away, but instead am learning to love myself and my brain in its needs and differences.

why washington, d.c.? we've heard countless great things from current and former residents, and we want to live in a bigger city with a metro system in the long-term. there's some great career advancement opportunities out there for mitchell and some great educational advancement opportunities for me. we have gained back our sense of adventure over the last few months and feel ready to call a new big city home. we're particularly looking forward to the end of the pandemic so we can make new connections and friendships.

anyway, i felt like writing about all this because it always brings me a bit of peace and stability among the instability of daily routines and plans. i like to use this as a bit of processing and a bit of a journal to mark the season. we will miss the home that we've had here in arizona over our lifetimes and the last few months. there is bittersweetness in leaving a place with such good friends. but we're also hopeful and grateful for the chance to try something new.

if you've lived with us in arizona, we will miss you and we hope to be back to visit plenty. if you live in d.c., we're excited to get to meet you. for friends everywhere in between, thank you for teaching us how to stay connected despite the distance that may be between us. love to you all!

-m.