thoughts + ideas

I am sitting on the floor of our not quite empty living room. we are in transition. selling off and donating our belongings, packing up the rest. there is much to be done in the next five days. it seems to not be the time to consider these things that dance in my head, but I suppose that it's as good a time as any. I have been thinking about my queerness. I suppose it might be especially good time to be thinking about this. See, we are packing up our life possessions and memories to move back to our home state. and this state contain countless friends and family members - people whom I was not out to before heading to this beautiful, magical, terribly lonely state of Seattle. we've missed a lot of opportunities here in Seattle to build community, simply due to the fact of a global virus threatening the lives of us and all those we love; we wished we'd had more time. I have been thinking about my queerness. see, I was hardly out to myself before leaving my home state

Insomnia induced thread: here’s some things I’ve learned as a result of my lived experience as a person with Mental Illness™️ (Please excuse any typos, and questions/clarifications are always welcome!) 1/x Context: I have had depression for about 5 years as of this summer. its strength has varied over those years but has been in my life in some capacity since May of 2015. I’ve had PTSD since January of 2018. It was only officially diagnosed 2 months ago. 2/x (footnote: I’ve also dealt with social anxiety my whole life, but that combined with my sensory needs & other life details have led me to believe that it is not a mental illness, but rather that I may be autistic. I’m currently pursuing an evaluation for that.) 3/x Ok, so onto the lived experience: Depression is a beast. It lives up to and exceeds its name. However it’s true strength can be obscured by many different things. 4/x I’ve had two major obstructions in my life to