the path to seminary + a blessing for myself and maybe you, too

2021 has been a wild year, friends. i began the year in a new state with my husband and only hopes for the best. my mental health had been improving, i was starting a new job for the first time in a year, and i was feeling a lot more at peace with myself.

sadly, as i started work it became evident that being a nanny was no longer a good line of work for me. i deal with chronic mental illness as well as a chronic physical illness. i was dealing with a lot of physical and emotional pain during my short time as a nanny this spring. i was not thriving.

but God. 

i got scheduled for a covid vaccination in April in Alexandria, Virginia, because i was considered an essential worker. on my way home from the first appointment, i saw a sign pointing towards "Virginia Theological Seminary," and my interest was immediately piqued. i drove the rest of the way home and googled more information about the seminary, becoming more excited with each new fact i learned. 

it was a small school; 

it had an extensive library; 

it was a community-focused school; 

it offered free tuition and housing for every accepted student who was within the income limits. 

i knew this was where i wanted to be. i've wanted to go to graduate school ever since i first took theology classes in college. my dream would be to teach theology courses at a college or grad school, and to write theological/poetic books. VTS seemed like the perfect next step to that dream.

a week or two later, after some prayer and conversation with my husband, i submitted an application. i was accepted about a month later—on my last day of nannying, no less. 

hallelujah. 

i'm now in a season of transition (again!). i've dusted off an old theology textbook to read and have been listening to theology/church history lectures as a way to pass the time this summer while i'm not working. we've got a summer vacation on the calendar, and pretty soon after that we'll be packing up our apartment and making the (thankfully) short trek to Alexandria. 

and in the meantime, i am preparing my heart. there will be much to adjust to, and much i've never encountered before. i am intent on learning rather than seeking a grade. i desire to make true friends more than i desire to impress my classmates. i am focused on living authentically as myself, nothing hidden away. flaws and all, i am choosing to step into seminary life.

it's been an adventure beyond all i could've expected, the last few years. and so much beauty i never expected, too. i'm ready for the next few years to bring more beauty.

praise be to God.

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below i've included a short blessing for my self in this new season. it is an ever-so-slight adaptation of a blessing i wrote in march 4 years ago. (serendipitously, the photo i captioned with this blessing was taken at my alma mater.) 

i extend this blessing to you as well. 

dear heart, your time is here.

your Abba has many blessings planned for you today,

so worry not of the blessings of tomorrow.

let your joy be full in living,

in knowing that eternity is here with you now,

that these are the daily graces to make you feel loved and known.

dear heart, enjoy the mountain views.

drink deep the hope gifted here.

you are tended to every moment you live and every breath you breathe,

so inhale this love and rest one more moment.

be with Jesus as he holds you.

dear heart, your life is Christ.

-m.